Emotional Day

Maybe I am just in a post-y mood today - but today seems to be an overly emotional day. I remembered a story from when I was younger. I was in class about grade 5 when I accidentally sent a rather large staple right through my thumb nail and out through my finger! (Eek). Now to sum up my shyness as a child in a few sentences - I sat there, told no one, holding my poor finger, and proceeding to turn various shades of white. Finally my teacher noticed I was looking rather faint and asked me if I was okay. Now at this point any normal kid would proclaim "I stapled my thumb!!!" but I said I was okay and just needed to go to the principals office. So off down the hallway I went leaving a small trail of blood. I told the lady at the office I just wasn't feeling well and needed to call my mom, while hiding my battle wound behind my back. Now I feel bad for my poor mom, here is her daughter calling her telling her she has been bleeding profusely from the thumb and has told no one for over 30minutes :) Well lets just say she rapidly told me "Megan TELL SOMEONE, ASK FOR HELP"

... now why is this oddly funny story relate-able to the present moment - well I think I feel like the little girl afraid to ask for help, I am trying to be as big as I can and remember that I don't have to do this alone. But then this little voice creeps into my head and says "just go to all your tests alone you don't want to bother anyone" "no one will even visit after surgery" or the worst " maybe everyone else would be better off if you didn't even get the surgery - you'll be a burden" - I need to remember not to be the little girl trying to hide what is really happening and ask people for help. I am sure I will be surprised how many people really do care <3